Fear and Loathing in America

I Knew You Were Going To Say That II

: solo1y; December 5th, 1:27

You can learn a lot about some from what they search for on Google. I have no idea if that's true, but it sounds like the sort of thing that should be true. Keeping this in mind, Google has a neat little trick where, once you start looking for something, it autocompletes the request based on similar requests from other users.

As with my previous post on this topic, there seems to be a greater need for proper, honest sex education for young Americans:

Then there's this search result autocomplete, for which I can find no common thread, or any explanation. Suggestions welcome:

I Knew You Were Going To Say That

Exit Stage Right

: solo1y; November 26th, 1:38

This post is just some ammunition for people intending to break Godwin's Law. Handy tip: leave the quotes lying around unattributed until someone says something. All these quotes are verified and correct, but you are encouraged to look them up yourselves.

"Why of course the people don't want war. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
-Hermann Goering, Nazi officer, during his Nuremberg war crimes trial

"...the rank and file are usually much more primitive than we imagine. Propaganda must therefore always be essentially simple and repetitious."
-Joseph Goebbels, Nazi Propaganda Minister

"The size of the lie is a definite factor in causing it to be believed, for the vast masses of a nation are in the depths of their hearts more easily deceived than they are consciously and intentionally bad. The primitive simplicity of their minds renders them a more easy prey to a big lie than a small one, for they themselves often tell little lies, but would be ashamed to tell big lies."
-Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

"The national government will maintain and defend the foundations on which the power of our nation rests. It will offer strong protection to Christianity as the very basis of our collective morality. Today Christians stand at the head of our country. We want to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit. We want to burn out all the recent immoral developments in literature, in the theatre, and in the press-- in short, we want to burn out the poison of immorality which has entered into our whole life and culture as a result of liberal excess during the past years."
-Adolf Hitler

"The more we do to you, the less you seem to believe we are doing it."
-Dr. Joseph Mengele

If any of it sounds familiar, you have my permission to make the obvious connection. Just don't say it out loud. I'll leave the last word with Canadian comedian Norm MacDonald:

"You know with Hitler, the more I learn about the guy, the more I don't care for him."

A Novel Idea

: solo1y; November 13th, 12:34

I'm doing this NaNoWriMo thing. The idea is to write 50,000 of a book without editing or checking anything at all. I'm accustomed to writing in a particular fashion, mainly one that involves constantly re-writing, editing, checking for spelling problems, grammar problems, style problems, etc. This is the first time I've ever tried not to do that, and it's kicking my ass. When I started, I called someone on my cell phone after writing just three paragraphs. After the call, I discovered that I had subconsciously fixed all the spelling errors in the first two paragraphs, and changed the tense (from first person to third person) of all the verbs in the third paragraph. Without even realising it. Apparently this is common.

Each user has his own page (this is mine). If you click on NaNo Stats, you can monitor the progress of my fail in real time. If you click on Novel Info, you'll see a brief excerpt from my attempt. The story concerns an old guy who thinks that a lot of the people in the world are not real, but no one believes him. Helping him in his quest are a young girl and an FBI Agent. I haven't really worked out any of the details, and maybe I won't ever, Kafka-style.

This might turn out to be a terrible piece of writing, but the worst case scenario will be that I can butcher it for a decent short story, or use it as the basis for a few not-so-decent short stories.

Tags: interwebz, my writings

Picky Media

: solo1y; November 6th, 0:57

There is a rather obvious game played by information junkies called Wiki-Groaning. It's a by-product of the predictable content bias that will ensue when you let the public get involved with any information-gathering exercise. This table was taken from Encyclopedia Dramatica, and it demonstrates the point nicely:

For me that's a little too easy. I prefer to look for subtle jokes planted so deep that they may never be rooted out. For instance, I was investigating whether or not the works of Stephen King could be considered literature*, when I noticed this:

I see what you did there. Keep up the good work.

*They are not.

Tags: attempts at humour, interwebz, media commentary

War Against Terror

: solo1y; November 1st, 15:18

I never liked Hallowe'en. When I was a child, our house was a quiet house. No one ever called, and we liked it that way. But one night per year, we were beset with many callers, none of them useful or in any way necessary. This night was Hallowe'en. The mortal dread of Hallowe'en has carried into my adult life.

Earlier in the day, we see preparations being made for some sort of military activity - small children fixing mortars into the ground, laughing amongst themselves about the coming carnage. As the day progresses, my mood becomes more tense.

20:30 - We have managed to survive three main attack waves. All that's left is stragglers and desperadoes. It's the latter we have most reason to be frightened of ... they will do anything for candy, and they are not against over-riding our security protocols or outflanking our auxilliary defence mechanisms.

21:30 - We're taking some serious RPG-fire on the gable end of the house. Cleverly masquerading as party-goers with innocent fireworks, they're laying waste to the green area beside our house. The sky is bright with the sparky colours of death ... the incandescent auras of a world gone mad ... there are colours everywhere, and bright lights banging and whooping and diving and screeching .. the children are gone now .. only teenagers and vandals remain. We are still holed up at Ground Zero. We have requested air support and emergency evac. but I'm not hopeful...

-http://www.solo1y.com/d2005.htm#31OCT05

Generations of simple-minded children fail to understand that what makes Hallowe'en scary isn't that they might be mistaken for ghosts or witches or horror icons of contemporary cinema: it's that sensible taxpayers are forced to negotiate with anonymous midget terrorists, who hold your doorstep hostage and demand candy. And everyone thinks it's charming!

So, unless you want al-Qa'ida to win, go easy on the candy.

Tags: attempts at humour, srs bznz

Milton Machine

: solo1y; October 30th, 15:59

Another late night IM conversation. I had just seen Frost/Nixon. The intention was to give a brief review, but then it turned into something else, as these things often do.

(3:23:51 AM) _______: Was it any good?
(3:23:53 AM) solo1: yes.
(3:23:59 AM) solo1: Compelling stuff. I almost feel sorry for Nixon.
(3:24:04 AM) _______: Oh wow.
(3:24:09 AM) _______: That's hardcore
(3:24:45 AM) solo1: Yeah.
(3:24:52 AM) solo1: He's this old, broken man. And he just gives up.
(3:25:10 AM) _______: Sometimes that's what's best
(3:26:22 AM) solo1: Yes.
(3:26:29 AM) solo1: But it's strange. The people who make these things.
(3:26:34 AM) solo1: The directors who make movies
(3:26:38 AM) solo1: And writers who write books.
(3:26:43 AM) solo1: They make you identify with the characters.
(3:26:50 AM) solo1: And sometimes that's a cruel thing to do to someone.
(3:26:55 AM) solo1: Who just wants to watch a movie or read a book.
(3:27:06 AM) _______: Yeah. Bastards.
(3:27:46 AM) solo1: This is the essential failing of "Paradise Lost". whose writer, John Milton, would no doubt be absolutely horrified that generations of young rebels have identified wth his glorious depiction of Satan.
(3:29:04 AM) _______: I have not read that.
(3:30:19 AM) _______: *wikis*
(3:30:20 AM) solo1: Well, Paradise Lost is a book about the fall of man. Adam takes a hit.
(3:30:30 AM) solo1: And in the first book, Milton just talks about Satan.
(3:30:47 AM) solo1: And holy fuck. The language he uses to describe Satan and his fall is one of the most wonderful stuff you'll ever read.
(3:30:57 AM) solo1: Much better than the drippy shit he uses to describe god.
(3:31:31 AM) solo1: "infernal pit of doom" type stuff. "..and there to dwell in bottomless perdition, cast in adamantine chains"
(3:31:32 AM) solo1: Em
(3:31:36 AM) solo1: Trying to recall other bits.
(3:31:37 AM) solo1: oh oh
(3:31:39 AM) solo1: The famous line.
(3:31:52 AM) solo1: What Satan says to his mates after they wake up in that shit hole called hell.
(3:31:57 AM) solo1: They're all crying and wailing and so on.
(3:32:02 AM) solo1: And he makes this epic speech.
(3:32:05 AM) solo1: With these words:
(3:32:14 AM) solo1: It is better the reign in hell than serve in heaven.
(3:32:23 AM) solo1: And when you read it, you're thinking .. well he sort of has a point.
(3:32:34 AM) solo1: Which is the exact opposite of what Milton would want you to take from it.
(3:32:35 AM) _______: Now *that* I *have* heard
(3:32:44 AM) solo1: But fuck Milton.

The somewhat related Alaska in the Morning.

Tags: movies books etc., this actually happened

I Will Not Try II: Balut

: solo1y; October 23rd, 23:41

Ireland is not known for its cuisine. Standard operating procedure is to take some food that starts off bland, like cabbage or potatoes, and then boil them for three hours, the purpose of which is to remove any suggestion of flavour. Only then can they be eaten.

There is the famous story of Fr. Eamon Fahey, who was a parish priest in a small Limerick village which shall remain nameless. In the early 1970s, he had a community awareness lunch in a local pub (although that's not what he called it). Several local dignataries showed up, and a good time was had by all. Until, that is, it was revealed by a small child that someone had added some cinnamon to the apple pie. Fr. Fahey was eventually revealed as ultimately responsible for the unwelcome visitor to the pie, and was driven from the town by a band of irate villagers at midnight. It was seven years before any representative of the Catholic church was allowed into the village again, by which time it had become an ersatz commune for Buddhists. True story: From 1973 to 1980, the local branch of Dunnes Stores sold more lentils in Limerick County than in all the other counties combined.

I mention this to provide a frame of reference for the advice I am about to send you. If some well-meaning, smiling Filipinos should chance to offer you something called "balut", under no circumstances are you to accept their passive-aggressive offer. The offer is passive-aggressive because if you do not accept, you will be forever regarded as an outsider, a "Joe", who doesn't really "get" their culture. If you decide to eat the balut, may the Lord have mercy on your soul, because it's a duck egg. With the baby duck still in it. Boiled. That's pretty disgusting.

I asked a Filipino friend of mine how any normal human being could be expected to eat something that revolting. His response:

"Mmmm. Crunchy."

I Will Not Try: Durian edition

Tags: this actually happened

Samebook

: solo1y; October 19th, 16:34

Some friends of mine linked me to a site called lamebook earlier this year, and since then, it's been on my "check at least once a day" list. It's a simple blog whose posts are screen grabs of stupid or funny Facebook posts.

After some time, I started posting in the comments section. Because that's what it's for. I decided to post anonymously to avoid the cult of personality that seems to be feature of my patronage of other forums. This didn't work, however, and people started posting using my username (Boz). I tried to identify myself by posting this LiveJournal in the Website box, thinking that they probably wouldn't want to promote someone else's LiveJournal, but that didn't work either. Now, it's got to the stage where at least three people (possibly more) are posting in the comments section as Boz, and linking to this site (Hey guys! Keep up the good work!) I don't know who any of these people are, but it's nice to know that they think so much of my contributions that it's worth their while to imitate me.

For instance, in the comments section of Best Friends Forever, comments 2, 3, 5, 12, 51, 65, 66, 68, 70, and 74 were not made by me. In the comments section of Mac 'N' Sleaze, comments 4, 18, 20, 22, 24, 28, 29, 42, 43, 46, 47, 50, 51, 52, 53, 55, 56, 57, 59, 60, 62, 64, 65, 67 and 69 were not made by me. That's just two lamebook entries; there are many, many more.

If lamebook people are irritated by this whole thing, I really don't know what I can do about it. Sorry, I guess? I have a suspicion that asking them to stop will only encourage them. Maybe it's best to just ignore all their posts. To be honest, it doesn't really matter, and if you're getting annoyed over a bunch of people pretending to be me in the comments section of humour website, you probably have problems beyond my ability to help you.

Nevertheless, workable suggestions welcome.

Tags: interwebz, this actually happened

That's a Strong Word VI: Special IT Edition

: solo1y; October 14th, 12:15

An occasional series of things I hate. You should hate them too.

When I accidentally click the SlideShow button in Vista picture viewer. Anyone who's ever done this knows how annoying it is. The one time you'd actually WANT a "confirm y/n?" button, it just powers on with wasting ten seconds of my life as I eagerly await the appearance of the Exit button.
When I'm working on photos in PaintShop Pro, and I discover I spent the last five minutes trying to clone-brush away a piece of dust on my monitor.
Scrolling through a page with the mouse, only to have it stop because the cursor ran through an embedded YouTube, for instance in Five Flicks Heaven.
Facebook friend suggestions. There are 164 people on my block list now. I don't have anything against ANY of them, I just hate seeing the same names pop up in that little box every single day. And there doesn't seem to be any way to switch it off. Remember, programmers: The best part of any feature is the off-switch.
Articles on culture sites that make me plough through six pages to read something that would comfortably fit on one page (even in it's archived pages!). Sample offenders: Slate, Rolling Stone. I love their articles, but seriously. You guys.
Photos girls take of themselves at a 45-degree angle. When you rotate them 90 degrees to straighten them up, they're just as crooked, but in the opposite direction. What's wrong with you people! Just hold the fucking camera the right way up! How hard is that?
When using MSN or AIM, seeing "(name) is typing". What am I supposed to do with that information! I'm anticipating widespread use of Google Wave will fix this bullshit.
Clicking next on a terms of service agreement (or EULA). Ironically, making the thing so fucking dense that no one could be bothered to read it has been accepted as a reason why they are invalid.

That's a Strong Word V

Tags: attempts at humour, grr

Suck Trek

: solo1y; October 5th, 14:49

Q. One of my friends wants to watch a Star Trek movie. Will it be good?

A. Star Trek: The Motion Picture was an insipid piece of trash that moved way too slowly and whose special effects were about fifteen years out of date. Then, on the fifth day, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was released. And we saw that it was good. Then Star Trek III: The Search for Spock was released, and it was badly-plotted and poorly-paced. Then Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home was released, and it had whales and a sense of humour (something completely missing from Star Trek III). At this point, a formula developed:

If the number of a Star Trek movie is even, it will be good.

This worked all the way up to Star Trek X: Nemesis, which set alight the imaginations of no one. It wasn't sufficiently... entertaining. Then the rule became:

If the number of a Star Trek movie is odd, or evenly divisible by five, it will suck.

Of course, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier qualifies under this rule twice, but that works out fine, as it was twice as awful as the next-best Star Trek movie. Then this year's reboot, Star Trek, was released. If your eyes managed to fight their way through the lens flare, you'll have noticed that it was a great movie. So we need a reboot of the rule too:

Star Trek movies whose digits, when expressed in decimal form, add to an odd number, will be bad.

So, hopefully (for people who like rules), the next movie will be awful. Otherwise we're going to have to start talking about prime numbers.

Tags: media commentary, movies books etc.

I'm writing a book. This is an excerpt from Chapter 7.

: solo1y; September 30th, 16:44

The following night, they were driving to Newtown, with Emma asleep in the back. The car smelled like French fries and there was a half-finished Coke in the cupholder. They were driving through a rural area, and passed several old, boarded-up buildings. They looked like farm houses.

"How old is this place?"

"Yeah I know. It's really old. I can only imagine some sarcastic urban planner deciding to call it Newtown."

She had the map open in front of her, and was crumpling it in all the wrong places. She traced lines across the map with her finger and frowned.

"Are you sure you're going in the right direction?"

"Not really. It's around here somewhere, though."

"You don't know where your own town is?"

"I haven't been back for years."

"The place you grew up?"

"Look it's really small place. It's not on that map of yours for a start. It probably barely shows up on a map of Newtown."

"Calm down. We'll get there."

"Yeah."

"That was funny, by the way."

Eventually they pulled into a neglected driveway, but still better maintained than the road leading to it. He looked around.

"Well, this wall is new."

They got out and he rang the doorbell. There was no response. Petra rang the doorbell again, but held it in for a longer time. Then she knocked.

"You did tell him we were coming?"

"Yes of course."

"Just checking."

They walked around the side of the house, where a light was flickering through the window. They peered inside, and saw an old man ensconced in an armchair, a can of beer open beside him watching a sports show on a small television. Petra knocked gently on the window. The old man leaned forward, pulled the curtain back slightly and stood up slowly. The window swung out, nearly smacking into her. The old man registered an expression of disappointment.

"Oh, it's you."

"Yeah. Hi, Dad. We rang the doorbell, but maybe your hearing is off."

"There's nothing wrong with my hearing. I disconnected it two years ago."

"Oh. I see."

"I had to. The 'Please Go Away' sign wasn't working."

"Oh. Well, I'd have interpreted that as irony."

"Misinterpreted you mean. So what sort of trouble are you in this time?"

"I'm not in any trouble. I just came back to- look. Is there any way we could just come in. It's dark and cold."

"Yeah fine. No sense in letting the heat out, is there?"

He slammed the window, and shuffled his way to the back door. They followed him into his living room. It was furnished in a fashion which was probably the height of good taste in 1975. Everything was covered in a nice layer of dust, except for a track from the door to the old armchair in the corner, completely at odds with rest of the room. There was a two-seater sofa next to the armchair. Petra didn't seem too pleased about sitting down, and made a half-hearted attempt to clear away some of the dust. They sat and watched a game none of them understood for a while, with Emma in the middle asking occasional silly questions and being hushed for her temerity. When it was over, the old man turned to the intruders on his sofa, and nodded to Petra while talking to his son.

"So, this is the latest."

"Yeah. She's called Petra."

"I thought you were still married to that little blonde girl - the one who makes the cakes."

"Yeah. I still sort of am. We're going through a thing at the moment."

"Does this one make cakes?"

"I'm sitting right here!"

"I know, love. That's why I'm being nice and not saying F star star K."

"You can if you like."

"Oh thank fuck. I feel better now."

"Also, I don't make cakes. Sorry. I made a baby, though."

"Oh Jesus, she didn't tell you it was yours did she? Don't believe it. This is what women do, you know. They trick guys like you into looking after someone else's baby."

"I'm sitting right here!"

"It's not my baby."

"So what - you're actually volunteering to look after someone else's baby? What school of logic does that come from?"

"Well, it turns out that Petra is a two-for-one deal."

"You're a moron-for-one deal."

"No, wait. You have to talk to Emma. She's really something special."

"She's a little girl. What could she possibly have to say that's so fucking special? In fact, I'm pretty sure she's not said anything of importance at all in her entire life. Hey, kid, say something. Now's your chance to shine."

"You have something on your nose. HA!"

"Yeah. Exactly. Only my son could find the babbling bullshit of a five-year-old riveting."

"I'm six!"

"She's four."

"You're a fuckwit. I'm never getting any grandchildren, am I? What happened to the other one?"

"Which?"

"The one you're married to! Why didn't you have any children? Are you broken down there as well as up here?"

"No. Nothing's broken. She just wanted to concentrate on her career and wait for a while."

"Career. When I was your age, having babies was the best career for a woman. So, Petra, what exactly do you do with your time?"

"I write comics."

"Do you actually write comics, or are you just fucking around?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you actually published anything that someone bought, or are you waitressing while waiting for your big break slash inevitable failure?"

"I have a comic in print right now, and I'm working on several others."

"Are you making any money?"

"Not a lot, but we're in the black at the moment."

"OK. I like you now. Can you please explain to my son that he's a useless shit wizard?"

"Shit wizard. That's a new one."

"Shut up. I'm not talking to you; I'm talking to the girl. So do you think you can explain it to him?"

"I could... try?"

"Good girl."

"But I have to declare something in the interests of full disclosure - I don't actually think he's a shit wizard. Whatever that is."

"You've heard of the Wizard of Oz, right?"

"Yeah, I've seen the movie loads of times."

"It's the same as that, but with shit instead of Oz."

"Are you sure?"

"Follow the yellow brick road."

"It's just that I've known him for some time now, and he's never-"

"He's a fucking shit wizard!"

"OK OK fine. I'm... one of those. Can we move on?"

"Oh god. There's more? Does it get better or worse?"

"No, it's not that. I just don't want to talk about me being a shit wizard anymore."

"Fine. Why are you here again?"

"I just wanted to say hello. And I wanted you to meet Petra and Emma. And Petra sort of demanded that we see you."

"Still letting yourself get kicked around by pretty girls, I see. Are you ever going to get sick of being weak?"

"He's not weak!"

"Really? Well let's hear it from him."

"Well. What she said."

"Yeah, what she said. That's the story of your fucking life, isn't it? What she said."

Emma started to get restless. He pointed at her.

"Maybe when she gets to be a bit older, she can push you around too."

"Hey..."

"No, really. Maybe the two of them can play ping-pong with you for fun."

"Be nice."

"That's if she hangs around long enough. You have a habit of driving them away."

Emma escaped from her mother's grasp and ran over to the old man sitting in the chair. She stopped right in front of him and pointed so that the tip of her finger was almost touching his nose.

"You look like Casey's grandpa!"

"Who the hell is Casey?"

"My best friend. She sits next to me."

"Yeah, well make the most of it kid, because it won't last."

"I'm not a kid!"

"You're close enough for jazz."

"Who's jazz?"

"Jazz. The music. You know? Jazz."

"I know a song!"

"Oh god. Petra, how are you raising the child?"

"I don't have any jazz records. I have some metal. Industrial stuff."

"What? Industrial isn't a type of music - it's a type of estate."

"That's just what they call it. I'm sure I'll get her around to some jazz eventually."

"Make sure that you do."

They sat there for a while watching Emma run around in circles. After falling over, she sang a song indicating she wanted to go to the bathroom. Petra asked to be left alone with his father, so he took her out. As soon as Petra confirmed they had left, she leaned towards him.

"I was sorry to hear about his mother, you know."

"Yeah. Well that was a vat of shit from beginning to end."

"Yeah. You know, I've known him for a long time. We've been friends since I was a teenager."

"Yeah. Look, you're a pretty girl and you seem more or less not a total idiot. What are you doing? Can't you do any better than this fool?"

"What's the deal with you guys? Don't you like him? Why are you so mean to him all the time?"

"It's for his own good. Look at the size of his head!"

"It looks normal to me."

"If it gets any bigger he won't be able to walk through doorways without turning sideways."

"You know he's clever, though, right?"

"Clever? Oh yes. He's got plenty of that, for all the good it did him."

"He got a book published!"

"A book no one bought, yeah. I bet he's still paying off on whatever it cost him to get it done. A small part of me died when I heard about it."

"What? Why?"

"Because I love books, you know? Hemingway, Tolstoy."

"Yeah, the good stuff."

"And just knowing that he's in the mix somewhere. It just devalues the rest of them."

"Have you read it?"

"Oh Lord no. It's probably about how stupid he is. Oh, here he is now. What the hell took you so long?"

"Nothing. Sorry."

"I was just talking to your lady friend about how you ruined literature for everyone."

"You finally got around to reading it, then?"

"I did not!"

"Oh. Right. Well, we better be going to bed."

"You're staying here?"

"Well, yeah. That was the plan."

"Can't you stay somewhere else?"

"Well, it's just with the kid, and it's late and-"

"And blah blah whatever. Right. Fine. You can have the far room. Don't make any noise."

"What about my old room?"

"It's my room now. Good night."

Tags: my writings

The Other War

: solo1y; September 28th, 22:49

Well, Iraq is a mess. As in Vietnam, the U.S. managed to precipitate a civil war (which they completely misinterpreted as a counter-insurgency), failed to install a leader suitable to their interests, and now they have no idea how to back out. If they let democracy take over, the Iraqi government will be acting in concert with Iran (because most of Iraq is Shia), and that can never be allowed to happen as far as the U.S. is concerned.

A mess all around. Maybe the other war is faring a bit better, to take the heat off.

Firstly, unlike in Iran, solid evidence has been found that Karzai was rigging the vote in the recent Afghanistan general election. This shouldn't surprise anyone. Karzai was the man installed by the occupying invasion force as the most suitable person to run the country. You know, like Quisling.

They tried that shit in Iraq with Ayad Allawi and got their asses handed to them. Having completely failed to learn their lesson, they then tried the same shit again with Ahmad Chalabi, who was on the CIA payroll (PRO TIP: if you're on the payroll of the secret service of another country, you don't get to be president) and had outstanding warrants against him in Jordan for fraud. He was also the source of much of this "imminent WMD threat" bullshit that so far has killed 4,346 American soldiers.

Secondly, heroin production is at an all time high (I made a funny), and usage is through the roof, even among Afghans themselves.

Thirdly, the security situation in Afghanistan is the worst its ever been, strong words considering the frame of reference. The Taliban are "in control" of 80% of the country and they're getting more powerful every day.

What's wrong with the Americans? Have they learned nothing from their own history or the history of others? Alexander the Great could only hang onto it for a few years. Genghis Khan was reduced to killing everyone he saw (not the best way to get on a country's good side) and the English army failed to make any progress on three separate occasions. Even the Russians threw everything they had into it, and failed. By the way, that conflict led directly to the US formation of the mujahedeen, to whom John Rambo so valiantly lent his services in 1988's Rambo III (technically, the Americans formed the mujahedeen months before the Soviet invasion, but it's reasonable to conclude they were thinking along those lines).

And they're seriously considering invading Iran? Iran is a modern, cohesive and effectively-run country. If they can't make a dent in the Stone Age shit-heap that is Afghanistan, Iran will screw them into the ground.

Tags: politics

You're Doing it Wrong!

: solo1y; September 20th, 2:28

I've been flicking through Etiquette by Peggy Post, who I assume is more of an editor than a writer. It's a hilariously archaic etiquette book (it suggests dealing with swearing kids on a bus with: "Excuse me, but you may not have noticed there are children on the bus. Could you please watch your language?") that claims to be updated because it includes email etiquette (p. 296) and moshing etiquette (p. 828). No, really: moshing etiquette.

Of course, people don't buy this book to learn how to behave. I'd be surprised if a single person read this and thought "Wow. Spitting is not cool. I better stop that." No. This book is to provide ammunition for uptight people wearing sensible jumpers to complain about the "young people" or the "urban people" or whatever euphemism they're into this week to describe poor people. It's sickening. If you see this book in any house you happen to visit, you must immediately point at it and say with all the surprise you can muster, "Hey, I never knew you were a self-righteous twat." You'll be doing him a favour.

This list of Most Annoying Things in America comes from p. 39, and I shall address the fail individually:

Telling racist or ethnic jokes, which not only insults the listener's intelligence but smears entire communities.
How can you tell the Jewish paedophile?
He's the one saying: "Hey kid, easy on the candy."

Using four-letter words and other obscenities in public without any reservations - especially in the presence of children.
How do you reserve the use of an obscenity? And if I do accidentally expand your child's vocabulary, don't thank me. Just make a donation to your favourite charity. May I suggest the American Civil Liberties Union, who has people working around the clock to protect normal people from uptight self-righteous bullshit like this.

Doing the "cell yell" - conduction a cell phone conversation so loudly that those around you wonder if your phone mate is hard of hearing.
I don't use my cell phone, so I don't do this. But I don't like anyone shouting at me for any reason.

Treating a salesperson, food server, or any other service provider as someone who's beneath you.
Yeah. Well this just isn't funny. As Dave Allen said: "Someone who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person."

Letting kids run wild or make constant noise in restaurants, supermarkets, theaters or any other public or private space.
I don't have any kids so I have no idea how easy or difficult it is to control them. For this reason, I wouldn't like to criticise someone else for not having that control.

Endangering others on a busy expressway by playing NASCAR wannabe: zipping from one lane to the other while driving like a maniac and not even bothering to signal.
In my experience, no one accepts that he's a bad driver, even if it's really obvious (due to multiple insurance payouts, or whatever). Given that every single driving person thinks he's a good driver, and given that I also think I'm a good driver - am I, in fact, one of these terrible drivers?

At a youth sporting event, abusing the referee, coach, or opposing team's players because your child's team has suffered what you consider a wrong.
I have no frame of reference for this sort of thing. If my parents ever bothered turning up to these things (which they never did), they'd probably cheer for the other team.

Fouling the sidewalk with spit, trash or pet poop left unscooped.
Well, there are differences between people and other animals.

On public transportation, staying planted in your seat when an elderly, pregnant, or disabled person obviously needs it more.
My father can't walk without crutches and he's 176 years old. And if anyone offered him a seat he'd probably smack them with the crutch for being so fucking patronising.

Charging thoughtlessly through crowds - especially when skating, riding a bike or electric scooter, or pushing a baby stroller.
The people at whom this advice is aimed (in order: teenagers, other teenagers, old elderly people and single mothers) are the least likely to either read this sort of book or give a shit about what it says.

Butting in, whether jumping into a checkout line in a store or taking a parking space that someone else is clearly waiting for.
Yeah, that's annoying. But none of us ever do it, right? It's always someone else.

Lighting up to smoke tobacco in a roomful of nonsmokers - and adding insult to injury by not asking permission beforehand.
What's this "to smoke tobacco" business? It sounds like something written just after the Great Vowel Shift. In the real world, I'm sure a roomful of nonsmokers could find an efficient way to deal with the threat.

Tags: grr, movies books etc.

Portions for Fox News

: solo1y; September 17th, 15:18

The right-wing stupidity machine has gone into overdrive in the US recently, with all sorts of lies being screamed at reasonable people. The most recent incident involves Joe Wilson, who shouted "You Liar!" in the middle of Obama's speech on healthcare. Soon afterwards, in emerged that Rep. Wilson has free, government-run healthcare. This makes a mockery of his stated objections to the healthcare plan, and at the very least exposes him as a hypocrite.

This sort of thing is not atypical; it happens all the time with conservative Christians. One of the most amusing of the (literally) hundreds of incidents involving these warmongering Christian dickheads concerned Ted Haggard. You need to read that; you'll thank me.

On with the show.

These are some questions for people who identify themselves with conservative Christians. I have yet to hear any sensible answers to any of them. Anyone can answer these anonymously, but if it's nonsensical, I'll delete it.

1. Do you understand the difference between a fact and an opinion? The reason I'm asking is that lots of the criticism coming from the right is either misguided lies, invented bullshit or juvenile agit-prop. A fact, for instance, would be that the U.S. has the worst public healthcare of any developed country on the planet. An opinion would be that something should be done about it.

2. Why would you prefer to see your taxpayer's money used to blow up thousands of innocent people half way across the planet than on helping sick Americans? A lot of criticism of the healthcare proposals concern the cost; where the money's coming from. I never noticed these same people complaining when the cost of the stupid and pointless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan spiralled out of control. If anything, they wanted more money spent on it. Do you hate your own citizens that much, that you would happily deny them essential services just to prove a point? In any other country, we'd call that treason.

3. Do you hate poor people? I've seen lots of contributions stating that poverty is the result of poor work ethic, and "my daddy had nothing when he came here and he worked really hard and now he's the president of the factory" type gibberish. Firstly, the plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data'. Secondly, go into any McDonalds, where everyone's on minimum wage. Tell me they're not working hard. Your wealth is FAR more likely to be influenced by your parents' wealth than anything you do.

4. How do you react when some new information appears that contradicts your opinion? I don't know about you, but I change my opinion. I realise it's in your nature to try to "fix" the facts to fit the opinion you've put so little time and effort into to begin with, but if the facts speak against your opinion, then your opinion is wrong. Just grow up and deal with it.

5. Do you understand the difference between science and religion? This is just a more codified form of the first question. For instance, evolutionary theory is scientific; creationism (or Intelligent Design as they're calling it now) is religious. That's before we decide whether either is correct or incorrect, by the way. There are those who will try to demonstrate that evolution is a religion or that ID is a science, but they might as well try to prove that bicycles are fish: those arguments will only convince those who could be convinced that bicycles are fish (and they are legion).

6. Where the FUCK were you people when Bush was in charge? Does my language offend you? Does it offend you more than the fact that 47 million Americans have no health insurance? If it does, then you may need a priority check.

Good luck.

Tags: grr, media commentary, politics

We Have the Technology

: solo1y; September 15th, 1:02

Not content with owning (or providing the means to run) 76% of the known universe, Google is still pushing full steam ahead to revolutionise our online screwing-around experience.

Two exciting projects they're working on right now:

1. Google Wave

A sort of ramped-up version of an email client, incorporating all the real-time elements of an instant messaging program. You can see a preview on the site above, where they demonstrate that messages are sent and received one letter at a time, without (much) loss of speed. Even IM programs don't do that.

Also, if you have a multiple-recipient email, any of the recipients can change any part of the email chain. Also, the API will be able to rip information from that email chain and send it to, say, a blog. And update the whole thing, in real time, letter by letter.

2. Google Voice

Update 16th September: I have been informed by fluffworld below that this service is available only to subscribers in the United States.

For some reason, not a lot of people know about this. Well, Imma bust this bitch wide open. This is the next generation of telephone technology. I know everything's always "the next generation of blah blah" but I actually have this installed, and it rocks. For a start, it has limitless free unconditional SMS texts - something the internet has been sadly lacking for a long time. That alone would sell it for me, but there's more - you can program the thing to do anything you want with any numbers you want. You can send AAA's calls to your home line, BBB's calls to your mobile, CCC's calls to your answering machine message which you earlier customised for just that person, and make sure DDD always rings out. You can redirect any calls to any, and as many, phones you like (as long as you register the phone with the website, which takes five seconds per phone).

I have mine set to not send SMS messages to any of my phones, meaning they just stay on the site waiting for me to answer them, which suits me perfectly. Also, if you like, you can set the thing to transcribe your answering machine messages into text for you to read. I've not see how that works because I've not got any messages yet, but when I do, I'll let you guys know.

You should apply for this now. You'll have to put your name on a list, but I didn't have to wait too long, so maybe you won't either.

Tags: interwebz, science

Caturday

: solo1y; September 6th, 15:24

I have been commissioned by a friend of mine (Vanessa) to take care of her cat while she's in Las Vegas for the week, probably gambling away her tuition money and drinking herself into the ground. I haven't had a pet since I was a child, so this is all new to me. The cat is called Isabelle, but I don't like that at all, so I've been calling it Cattington. I'm not supposed to, but whatever. This was a specimen day in our short, sad, hectic life together - Saturday, 5th September 2009:

8.00 am - I wake up to my wrist being sandpapered by a cat-tongue. I pick the cat up and put it off the bed. It jumps on and starts sandpapering my hands again. I put a blanket over myself to create a barrier. However, when the blanket is over my hands, it can't tell that they're hands and thinks they're a target. It starts attacking and biting any part of the blanket that moves. I move around a lot when I'm in bed, but I try to stay as still as possible.

8.15 am - I look on the internet to see what a cat licking my arm means. While doing internet searches, the cat now decides that the keyboard is where it now lives.

The last time I had animal trouble like this, a large dog was repeatedly humping my leg. I discovered this was dominance behaviour - the dog was asserting its status. Well, fuck that. I grabbed it one night and humped the shit out of it on the kitchen floor. I'm not taking any shit from a labrador. The guy who owns the dog thought it was hilarious, but it solved the problem. Completely. I wouldn't like to think that the cat sees me as lower in the hierarchy, given that it's essentially just the two of us here.

8.30 am - It's biting my notebooks. I have lots of notebooks beside the bed I use for writing in the middle of the night, but the cat has decided they're chew toys. I say 'No cat! They are not for biting!', to no avail. I physically push the cat away but it just saunters back, cool as a breeze, staring at me balefully, biting the notebooks.

9.00 am - The cat runs to the bathroom, complete with the jump start, as though someone had just fired a starter's pistol. Then it crouches on the rim of the toilet and starts drinking the water. As the water has bleach in it, that's not a good thing. I thought that its water bowl might be running low, so I check, but no - it's fine. It just prefers the water in the toilet, apparently. At least this problem is easily remedied by putting the seat down. The cat looks at me with a deep sense of betrayal. For the past thirty-three years, a legion of neurotic and unreasonable women have failed to convince me to put the toilet seat down, but a few days with the cat...

9.30 am - While posting about the stupid cat to a certain message board, the cat decides that the cursor is alive, and tries to attack my laptop screen. Several times. Every time I remove it from the keyboard, it gets more inventive about how to sneak back on there and deal with the Great Cursor Threat of 2009. It also manages to hit the button above my keyboard that turns off the machine. I am forced to use arcane keyboard shortcuts for the remainder of this posting session.

10.00 am - Perhaps a zero-tolerance policy is called for. I grab the cat, put it outside the bedroom and close the door. Disturbing sounds of crashing and ripping in the television room are soon replaced by whining outside the door. Lots of I'm-so-lonely type quiet mewling and gently pawing the door, as though it wouldn't be ripping my hands up with its dagger-tongue the first chance it got. However, I am stronger than that. I'm not going to let a crazy animal tell me what to do. The cat has to learn that I'm in charge and that's final!

10.03 am - I let the cat back in.

12:30 am - The cat has somehow picked up on the fact that I'll probably get into trouble if I lose it. Hence, it decides to play a game where if I'm not watching it constantly, it goes missing.

Example one: behind my Batman comics:

Example two: camouflaged among my Magic cards under the television:

2:00 pm - I decide to visit a friend of mine (Andrew). The cat doesn't seem happy that I'm leaving, but whatever.

2:03 pm - I start worrying about the cat while driving on the 60 freeway to Walnut. What if it runs out of food? What if it's not got enough water and it dries out? Wait! It's not my cat - I don't care what happens to the stupid furball. What if it gets lonely? No! Any positive feelings I have for the cat are just projections of my own feelings onto the cat, or transference of how I want others to treat me. That's just pathetic. It's the most insidious, selfish thing someone can do to himself - talk himself into getting attached to an animal that can't even talk back to you. One cat is much the same as another - feeling anything about one in particular is insanity. Right. Glad I have that sorted.

2:07 pm - Oh shit. This is terrible. He's not going to have anyone to play with him for HOURS! This was a bad idea. This was a terrible idea.

2:10 pm - Holy hell, what is it like having kids? It must be like this, but a million times worse, and none of the upsides, slender as they are.

7:00 pm - I come back from my friend's house, and the cat races to the door as though I were composed entirely of catnip. I am glad to see the cat too, but I manage to dial it down a bit.

7:30 pm - I go to the fridge to get some Coke. From two rooms away, the cat hears the sound of the fridge and sprints like crazy into the kitchen, leaping like a furry missile into the far corner of the lower shelf. It takes some effort to get it out again.

8:30 pm - Ever since my long absence today, the cat has adopted a strategy of following me everywhere. It's very subtle though - when I switch rooms it waits a few minutes and then just sort of appears in the same room, as though it were there all along. It even follows me to the bathroom, albeit in a more obvious fashion. Whenever I'm finished washing my hands, I open the door and it's RIGHT THERE, looking at me, and then looking down the hall, as if to say:

"Oh, hi. Fancy meeting you here. Actually, I was just saying to Elmer that- oh, he's gone. I'll just... hang on. Elmer! This is kind of embarrassing. He was here a moment ago."

Don't bullshit me, cat - there is no Elmer. I thought these things were supposed to be independent or something. I know guys suffering from total renal failure who are less attached to their dialysis than this cat is to me. And - I cannot stress this enough - it can't be because I'm particularly nice to it. I play with it a bit, and feed it and so on, but we're not holding hands walking down sun-drenched country lanes or anything. What the hell is going on?

10:00 pm - I have resigned myself to the fact that the cat is adorable. I might as well just throw my balls into the dumpster now, because clearly I have no need for them.

10:30 pm - Enquiries about the possibility of buying a cat that looks like Cattington and switching collars before Vanessa gets back are greeted with ridicule and disdain. You people - and you know who you are! - have no vision.

11:30 pm - I go to sleep, the cat's cue to kick into high gear. Although it's pitch dark, I imagine that I can actually hear the cat hopping off the ceiling, which would also explain the force with which it's landing on my bed every few minutes. I am filled with thoughts of dread and despair that I have to go through all this crap again tomorrow.

Tags: this actually happened

That's a Strong Word V

: solo1y; September 5th, 1:56

An (increasingly detailed) occasional series of things I hate. You should hate them too.

"Whatever floats your boat." Don't ever say that to me, because it's really down to the density, isn't it? If the weight of any object is less than the weight of the displaced fluid when fully submerged, then the object has an average density that is less than the fluid and has a buoyancy that is greater than its own weight. If the fluid has a surface, such as the sea, the object will float at a level where it displaces the same weight of fluid as the weight of the object. If the object is immersed in the fluid, such as a submerged submarine, it will tend to rise. If the object has exactly the same density as the fluid, then its buoyancy equals its weight. It will remain submerged in the fluid, but it will neither sink nor float. An object with a higher average density than the fluid has less buoyancy than weight and it will sink. A ship floats because although it is made of steel, which is much denser than water, it encloses a volume of air which is lighter than water, and the resulting shape has an average density less than that of the water. Moron. Also, IN B4.
Car alarms whose designer thought changing the sound pattern every three seconds would make it more likely that someone would care. In fact it's just more annoying. Every time I hear that stupid alarm I hope that someone's stealing it so I never have to listen to it again.
Those twisty-turny switches on lamps in the US. What's wrong with a simple on/off click switch? What bastard invented a thing that simultaneously removes the outer layer of skin from your thumb and leaves you in the dark?
When a dog or a cat makes a big deal about getting out, so you go over and open the door for them, and they just stand there looking at you. I just opened the door to let you out - what's your game? I'm not your bitch. I own you.
Any dramatic production that has any variant of: "What did he have that I didn't? The answer was simple - her." What the hell does that even mean? It's the worst kind of lazy writing - whoever wrote that knows that it's meaningless but wrote it anyway because he knew some 12-year-old somewhere would think it's profound.
Noises that sound like someone's unsuccessfully trying not to cough. If you want to cough, just get it over with. Stop wasting my time.

That's a Strong Word IV

Tags: attempts at humour, grr

Stand Up Comics

: solo1y; September 1st, 23:21

What happens when you cross Disney with Marvel? I guess we're about to find out. In news to chill the bones of anyone who likes Marvel comics, Disney bought it. In a "deal worth" four billion dollars, whatever that means. Stan Lee likes it, but Stan Lee thinks everything is cool. I have honestly never heard that man say a bad word about anything, which I guess is a lovely way to be if you're a human being and full of creative energy, but maybe not the best attitude with which to assess a corporate take-over. Marvel fans don't like it, but you could attribute that to emotional inertia, and a general dislike of any sort of change, coupled with the fact that people who are upset are far more likely to register their opinions than people who are ambivalent or pleased. Warren Ellis, with his celebrated terse humour, explained that he is not going to be writing Disney comics. Well done that man.

What about the rest of us? Well, the last time Disney's suckling of capitalism's teat was forced out into the open was when Disney took over the Winnie The Pooh franchise in 2000. There were some legal problems, but it wasn't really until 2000 that the deal was fully sealed. Read this to get a summary of what madness that that way lay. A sample phrase: "Disney announced that Pooh's...owner...would be...a 6-year-old "tomboyish" red-haired girl named Darby". Yeah. They went there.

Before Disney got its grisly claws into it, Winnie the Pooh was a series of pleasant tales about a boy and his pet bear, much along the lines of Calvin and Hobbes, but without the ironic edge. Then Disney comes along and re-brands it into something it is more or less instructing parents to tell their kids to find appealing. They did the same shit with this "Disney Princess" gibberish where every girl who doesn't have a Hannah Montana lunchbox wants a Cinderella pencil with a pink fluffy thing at the end. Kids are great. They really are. They're perfectly capable of developing their own outlets for creativity and adorability. They don't need you to do it for them, and they certainly don't need a huge corporation to tell parents how to do it for them.

Y so srs? Well, I find the whole idea of taking a child's innocence, putting a ribbon on it, and selling it back to his own parents is disgusting, and so should you. At least Marvel's already been movie-optioned and toy-licenced up the wazoo, so maybe there's not that much damage that Disney can do. But as long as someone, somewhere is making lots of money, these bastards will take the greed bus as far as they can, and as with everything else Disney have touched since 1967 (I'm counting The Jungle Book as the last truly inspired Disney movie: prove me wrong), we consumers will pay the price in quality of product, while talking ourselves into believing it's "cute" and "fun" and "family-friendly" rather than generic, formulaic trash that needs to be erased from the hive mind. Marvel could be a positive influence here, but I doubt it.

The Barrel Analogy

If you put a drop of wine into a barrel of shit, you have a barrel of shit. However, if you put a drop of shit into a barrel of wine, you still have a barrel of shit.

Tags: grr, movies books etc.

The Hate That Dare Not Speak Its Name

: solo1y; August 26th, 23:38

This is about the use of the word "nigger". Wish me luck.

Part 1. It's offensive that anyone would try to censor someone else. Anyone should be allowed to say whatever the hell he likes (and the First Amendment protects that right), as long as it's not causing any real world damage - and the word "nigger" doesn't cause any real damage. Personally, the fact that it's a taboo just makes me want to say it more; not to shock or annoy, but to demonstrate how stupid the general consensus is.

Also, note the wording in the definitions excerpts - dictionaries are supposed to be descriptive not proscriptive.

nig.ger n (taboo) 1 a highly offensive term for a Black person 2 a highly offensive term for a dark-skinned person [late 17C. Alteration of NEGRO]
____________________
CORRECT USAGE This term is arguably the single most offensive racist slur in the English language. The fact that African Americans and other people of colour sometimes use the word in reference to themselves (sometimes as nigga) does not excuse its present day use by members of other ethnic groups. White students may be accustomed to hearing it in its pop culture context. They should avoid using it, even in fictional dialogue. Those who persist in using it should remember that their use of the word reflects directly on them, the users. The terms of choice are African American, Black person, and person of colour.

-Microsoft Encarta College Dictionary (2001)

Part 2. It's just a word. Yes, yes: slavery; racism; feelings; blah blah blah. It's still just a word. It's something horrible to say about black people. You know what that means? It means whoever says it is a racist dick. But that's all it means! However, when anyone gets offended by "nigger", it is overwhelmingly likely that he's getting offended by the word, and not racism. In other words, it's FAR more socially acceptable to say, "I think black people should be treated as second-class citizens" than it is to say, "I think niggers should be treated equally." I bet your brain winced just reading that second one. If it did, you must surely realise now that you're reacting to the word and not the racism which is supposed to be informing the horror of the word.

To me, the thing that offends me most is every time I hear "the N-word." Not "nigger", by the way. I mean, "the N-word." Literally. Whenever a white lady with nice hair on CNN says "the N-word." That's just white people getting away with saying the word "nigger". That's all that is. They found a way to say "nigger". "N-word." It's bullshit, because when you say "the N-word" you put the word "nigger" in the listener's head. That's what saying a word is. You say "the N-word" and I go "Oh, she means nigger." You're making me say it in my head. Why don't you fucking say it instead and take responsibility for the shitty words you want to say.

-Louis CK, Chewed Up

Part 3. Why would someone give away the power to hurt him, especially if he knows he's handing this power to people who want to hurt him? It's nonsensical. But that's exactly what he's doing when he chases down racists and insist they avoid saying "nigger" because it's abusive and hurtful. They use that word because it's abusive and hurtful - and his attempts to stop them are feeding into the loop.

Like all verbal abuse and bullying, the best thing to do is ignore it. Make a decision to not get offended by it - it really is that simple. Trolls thrive on negative reactions - don't feed the trolls.

Part 4. The Thirteenth Amendment was passed over 150 years ago. Get over it. Although there are certainly racist problems in America (for instance there are more black people in jail and fewer black people in university than there should be), harping on about slavery is not doing black people any favours. It's like Jews complaining about the holocaust. Yes, it was terrible, but shut up. No one cares apart from other black people/Jews. To everyone else, it sounds like laboured bitching, except no one will say that because OMG RACISM. We know the Nazis are the bad guys. We know that slave-owners are the bad guys. That information is equal parts axiomatic and useless.

We need to acknowledge that fact that the past has created the present, and then concentrate on how to deal with real, current disparities of opportunity and income. Everything else is smoke and mirrors distracting us from the real issues. It's like Irish people blaming the Famine for all sorts of political tomfoolery. Sure, a lot of problems in Ireland have their roots in colonial oppression, but shut the fuck up about it and get on with your life.

Part 5. There are a million better ways to combat racism than attacking a word. And although it's not the most horrible thing that could happen to a black person - by far, being called a "nigger" will garner the most disapproval - even from white people!

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-Martin Luther King, Strength to Love, 1963

Part 6. There are white people who regard black people as second-class humans. They would never admit to it, of course, and they would certainly never use the word "nigger" because that would be wrong. On the other hand, there are white people who believe that black people should be equal in every way, and who would have no problem saying "nigger" all day (but for the risk of having their heads kicked in). Which of these people do you think black people would prefer populated white America? If you are a black person reading this, which would you prefer?

This is, of course, a false dilemma here, but it demonstrates a point. The point is that the real racism isn't with undereducated white people running around in sheets and burning crosses, nor with anyone who uses the word "nigger" - that's just a bunch of assholes; the real racism is with the private (and to a lesser extent, government) institutions who make decisions based on race, whether they're aware of it or not; it's with the people who would never consider using that word because they hold positions of power and wish to connote respectability. If anything, the adopted horror of the word "nigger" is breathtakingly patronising.

Example: I'm sure George Bush wouldn't be caught dead saying "nigger", but he would have no problem favouring measures to deny black people their 15th Amendment voting rights. That's what you should be getting angry about, if you're a black person, or if you're some other sort of person who wants to get angry about something.

AFRICAN, n. A nigger that votes our way.

-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

The Cliff's Notes on this post - getting angry about (or trying to prevent) the use of the word "nigger" is, as explained individually in the respective paragraphs above, anti-constitutional, misdirected, counter-productive, obsessional, useless and distracting.

Tags: language, srs bznz